The Ex-Files – pt 3
Posted by raaachem on January 21st, 2010
2 steps forward, 2 steps back.
It seemed as tho no matter how much progress we made, there was always a setback. She was everywhere. Out with his friends, leaving messages on his phone, stopping by the house, having lunch with him at work.
I could not get away. We could not get away. So I tried extra hard. I did everything I could to prove to him I was better than she was in every way possible –I still tried. I spent more money than she did, I cooked more often, I let him do what he wanted because it showed how “cool” I was and I trusted him, even though I was secretly dying inside.
Because it was never enough. And everytime she would rear her ugly head, my self-confidence would come crashing down. What is it that I’m not doing right? What is it that I can’t do better? Why am I not enough? How can I get him to love only me?
I knew about her. She knew about me. But somehow, someway, we both stil managed to hold on. I knew that even tho I was his girlfriend and she was just the Ex, to her, I was probably just “another girl.” Little did I know how right she was.. It was less of a roller coaster and more of a game, and the asshole in the middle probably thought he was pimpin’ with 2 chicks on his dick. It wasn’t about HIM.. it was more about not being able to admit defeat.
It was all about the Win. And I was willing to do whatever it took to get it.
Even if it meant her calling me to ask where he was. Even if it meant him leaving me on my birthday to talk to her. Even if it meant him inviting her over 20 minutes after I left his house. Even if it meant him blatantly lying to my face. Even if it meant getting her pregnant. Even if it meant the both of us putting up with endless other girls. Even if it meant all of that.
I have to win. I just have to.
January 21st, 2010 at 8:29 am
As they say winning is not everything.
January 21st, 2010 at 10:13 am
Lol not even about dude anymore, it’s just about winning….sigh, sad to say I know the feeling
January 21st, 2010 at 2:27 pm
omgg!
I’m SO mad at this girl!!!
the dude got the girl PREGNANT for gods sake!
grrr! if this girl was my friend, i would slap the shit out of her for being such a dummy lol
good job rache!
i love your storiess! hahaha
January 21st, 2010 at 3:09 pm
sadly, this is a true story. my true story, straight outta my ex-files. *sigh*. i coulda used a good slapping. lol.
January 21st, 2010 at 8:17 pm
ahh…eff the slaps, you know i could’ve used a good ass beating. lol
January 22nd, 2010 at 9:06 am
I love it rachem you always end up hitting a soft spot lol. But you know what’s funny this series is basically a true story that has happen to me. but I feel bad about say this but I’m the other “the ex file” while his girl is thinking this but in some ways I’m thinking this too. I stopped talking to him cause I realize he couldn’t have two hearts, he couldn’t have me, it was either me & only me. After 5 years of me going back a fourth & always sharing him with the new girl he had, I decided enough was enough.
Rachem your the best
January 22nd, 2010 at 9:35 am
I love your stories.
Sad to say that I also know the feeling, in fact i am living a story like this right now.
I guess i need to be slapped too haha
January 22nd, 2010 at 11:22 am
Diana — doesnt matter how long it takes to realize that you’re worth better. the point is, you did. and you are. and big ups to you for it. =)
Debs — SMMAACKKK!! lol.
January 28th, 2010 at 8:23 am
:] thanks rachem , like I said you are turly the best ! & your series are awesome it has inspired me to start one of my own that’s still in the works