[ex-boyfriend]
It has been the longest 6 months of my life.  Everyday I’ve been reminded of the love I’ve shared and lost with Marie.  But today..TODAY is a good day.

I woke up this morning and said, FUCK MARIE.  And surprisingly, I actually meant it.  I can say that today, I think about her and tell myself that I dont need her in my life and can honestly say that I don’t feel like I’m lying to myself.

I burned what was left of our shit today.   The boys came over,  got shitfaced, and had a bonfire with her shit as the firewood.  Interestingly enough, I don’t feel bad about it… at all.  I even wiped my ass with one of her letters – no joke.  I just want to get on with my life, and this is exactly what I need.

I’m getting ready to hit the city with the boys.   Since losing all this weight I seem to be a magnet for females – I’m not complaining tho.    HOLLA AT A PLAYA!

Fuck bitches!  Get money!

[ex-girlfriend]
Box after box after box of pictures and projects bearing both our faces fill my room.   G finally dropped off the rest of my stuff today..   I know there’s more, but I told him to just keep it. I have no use for it.

I stare at the picture collage that I made him for our 6 year anniversary.  Its laying next to the blanket that I made for our 8 year anniversary.   I can almost hear my heart breaking as the tears involuntarily roll down my face. It hits me like a ton of bricks.  

He’s over me.

The man who said he’d never fall out of love with me… The man who I’ve shared almost half my life with… The man who I always invisioned myself to be married to, be the father of my children, to grow old with…
is over me.

And even though I’m the one who broke his heart, it still hurts just the same.  I left him, not cuz I had stopped loving him,  but because I was in love with someone else, too.   And he may be trying to move on, but I AM NOT.

I am stuck in a pepetual state of single pergatory, not being able to be with either man I love, because of my love for the other.   And now he’s over me.

He’s fucking over me.

[ex-best friend]
I am a secret.

I am in love with a girl who is in love with me, but we are a secret.

We were openly friends, always.   Then we secretly fell in love….  When we finally let it all out, more than anything I felt — relief.   More than the pain of hurting my best friend, more than the love I had for her, was relief.   Relief of a lightened load cuz I didnt think I could keep that shit in anymore..  it was eating away at my soul.

But just when I thought I could live a life of loving openly, we are back to being a secret.  We don’t have anybody but each other…  lost the respect of our families and friends….We are openly friends, who fucked up our entire lives for the love of each other — and yet we’re still a fucking secret.

Fuck love. Fuck this girl.  and FUCK MY LIFE.