[ex-boyfriend]
7:21 pm
7:25 pm
7:34 pm

Its only been 13 minutes.?!  Time passes so slow it’s ridiculous.   They say time heals everything but all I want is for time to just either STOP — so the earth can swallow me whole — or FAST FORWARD — so I can just be over it.

I’ve tried to fill my days as a distraction.   Hitting the gym to burn this fat, going out the with the boys every night, drinking till I can’t no more.    And its fine.. I’m fine.   But for some moments, those in-between moments like these, I remember.

And it hits me like a ton of bricks again.   The love of my life is in love with someone else… and it happened to be my best friend.

FUCK. MY. LIFE.

[ex-girlfriend]
45 minutes till the next BART train. Its cold.  There’s a bum accross the street looking at me weird.   Its time’s like these I wish I had a car… or actually, I wish I knew how to drive.

I never really had to learn though.  G always picked me up, dropped me off.   I’d ask Nick but…

I’m trying to convince myself that I made the right decision, but I’m not sure if I can validate my actions.   I thought I’d have someone I could talk to about this, but no one’s reached out to me and I’m too afraid to make the first move.   Its like I never had any friends… and the only one here for me now is Nick.

“Its you and me against the world.”  He tells me that all the time, but right now… I really, truly feel it.
I have nobody.

[ex-best friend]
I see that my phone as an incoming text message but I’m afraid to look at it.   Text after text, its been one of the boys talkin shit to me.

“I can’t fucking believe you.”
“You are DEAD TO ME”
“First off, fuck your bitch and the clique you claim.”

What I dont understand is, these guys dont even know my side of the story!  They don’t wanna talk to me, won’t let me explain…. So how can they have the audacity to come at me sideways?!!?   I’m their fucking friend too! RIGHT?  or fuck, at least I thought I was?  I mean, I was there for them when they got married and when their grandparents died.. there for all the parties, when they fuckin needed me.

And these fake ass fuckers wanna do me like THAT?

Fuck that, I dont fucking need them anyway.! and I’m SURE G is talkin hella shit about me.  Fuck it, I’m a text this fool and try and talk to him.  I GIVES A FUCK, LETS HANDLE THIS LIKE MEN DO.

COME. SEE. ME.